Most couples aren't actually fighting about dishes, or money, or who does what, or house renovations, pillows, and decorations. Those are just the topics that start the argument. The real question is: do you see me? Do I matter to you? Am I still someone you'd show up for? That's what most fights are actually about underneath. Being seen. Being supported. Feeling like your partner is still, actually, on your team, because that's the way you feel loved and taken care of.